I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
