I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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