Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
