is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
