Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
