Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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