My friends, they love my intelligence
This girl is more easily done than said...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Randomize
