I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
