have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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