i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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