bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
