so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
