he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
