And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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