I cannot find my penis.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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