I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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