Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
