That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
