My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize