woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
people are starting to question the shark bite story
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
