Ambien. No doubt about it.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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