You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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