Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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