What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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