pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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