i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
