3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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