i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
