Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
