I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
