I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize