I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
