My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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