never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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