She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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