i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
