I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
