some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
My legs feel like baby dolphins
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
