**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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