the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
