it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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