stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
