Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
