Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Randomize
