Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Randomize