I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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