I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
There was a lot of him and a little penis
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
