In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
