Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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