Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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