I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Randomize
