i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize