: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Randomize
