Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
