just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
