The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Randomize
