i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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