I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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