He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
