Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just come out here and I will go home with you...
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
