I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
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